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Showing posts from 2019

Any Thoughts of Hurting Yourself?

A question of concern                                                              Words that spew out from the masses
From those that will yearn                                            Never once seeing the thoughts full of caskets
Hoping one day that they'll never learn                                             Visions of pain, infliction, and acids
Early sight bemoaned to a casket or urn                                Forevermore fearing being buried in ashes
Those memories are dear, deserving of more                                         To sit and to fight day after day
Not to be remembered as a life of before                                   Contender from birth, an eternal melee
The smiles past given; selfless and pure                              The courage and strength allowing the stay
Wisdom last spoken, a genuine mentor                             Quivers and shakes from too long in the fray
Moments past shared - one of splendor                              …

Once and for All

Each new day brings a sun that's rising
 My mind isn't compromising
  It's comprising of thoughts not confiding in shots
   Connecting no dots and idolizing dreadnoughts
    Asking me always my thoughts on what a beautiful suicide means.

      How do we act, how do we fall,
      What's the best way to answer when Death gives us that call
       I've seen how I die in most ways, not all
        I thank my will my veins aren't drowning in ethanol
        Though I can recall years against the wall
         hitting a bottle of alcohol, like some repeat protocol
          Just tryna end it all. That fate is one I must erase
           Once and for all.

           Why do I fight? I'm still asking to this day.
             Maybe I'm not meant to go out this way.
              I've been robbed of death or given a chance
              To breathe a good breath before my last dance

                Residing in me I wish were the answers
                 To all…

Bipolar

How is it that when I seek help, try to find peace
        I'm detained to a world of noise
Distractions, televisions, monitors, a menagerie of people
        And all I want is absolute silence
Judging eyes without a chance to defend
        It irritates, not stimulates the sense
What they want from me is not what I need
        Faltering my strength, my balance, my poise
This society has taken everything from me
        Array from the pain, the discord, and voilence
Something these vultures do not comprehend
        Peace from this, are they really so dense
Just leave me alone So I can be free
Mentally you bleed What must you atone You speak of solitude, but you know who you are        this journey here ventured has brought us thus far It's easy to hide, to reserve in a shell                             But trust and confide, this I do tell                         Scared you might be in this future to come                   Ever onward we'll fight till we are undone������…

3/11

How many times have you met the Reaper? Your every breath will one day cometh To you become the eternal sleeper.
But not today. Not tomorrow, Not any time soon. Don’t even come back. I’m alive and I like that. I am not a buffoon, No sorrow. Here to stay.
I’ve changed my life, I’ve dug deeper. Eye to eye with the face of Death, My eyes, a proud demeanor.